1. |
Brand New Santa
00:47
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santa, santa, santa, santa
little kids are gathering round
santa, santa, santa, santa
how come he's not moving now?
everybody stand back
santa had a heart attack
santa's bleeding from his head
sorry kids but santa's dead
santa, santa, need a new santa
christmas is in question now
santa, santa, need a new santa
we need to get our gifts somehow
someone's taking santa's place
wear his suit and take his face
adopting his unhealthy ways
death will come in 30 days
santa, santa, brand new santa
found this guy right off the street
santa, santa, brand new santa
promise him something to eat
santa gained 200 pounds
his sleigh can't get off the ground
christmas is in question now
santa's not coming to town
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2. |
Xmas Is 4 Kidz
00:47
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christmas is for kids
adult presents are shit
sometimes they forget
just how to be a kid
fuck you i'm a kid still
fuck you i'm a kid still
fuck you i'm a kid still
christmas is for kids
christmas is for kids
christmas is for kids
don't make me cry
you won't get no gifts
you're too old for this
your stocking's filled with piss
now give santa a kiss
fuck you i'm a kid still
fuck you i'm a kid still
fuck you i'm a kid still
christmas is for kids
christmas is for kids
christmas is for kids
don't make me cry
christmas is for kids
christmas is for kids
christmas is for kids
i hope you die
fuck you!
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3. |
Coke 4 Xmas
00:52
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well it eats through metal
it eats through your stomach
it eats through rust
and that's why i love it
coca cola (classic!)
coca cola for christmas
coca cola (classic!)
coca cola for christmas
makes your teeth disappear
if you drink enough of it
feed it to the reindeer
take your pepsi and shove it
coca cola (classic!)
coca cola for christmas
coca cola (classic!)
coca cola for christmas
coca cola
coca cola for christmas
coca cola
coca cola for christmas
coca cola
coca cola for christmas
coca cola
coca cola for christmas
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4. |
I Am The Santa
01:13
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who is the santa?
(he is the santa)
i am the santa
i am the santa
people want presents
(they want presents)
you're not gonna get em
you're not gonna get em
this christmas is gonna suck for you (for you)
this christmas is gonna suck for you (for you)
this christmas is gonna suck fuck you
cause it's my day, my day, my day, my day
who has been naughty?
(you have been naughty)
you have been naughty
you have been naughty
don't try to hide it
(don't try to hide it)
you can't deny it
you can't deny it
you cannot hide anything (anything)
you cannot hide anything (anything)
you cannot hide anything
i see everything, everything, everything, everything
who passes judgement?
(he passes judgement)
i pass the judgement
i pass the judgement
you are not worthy
(you are not worthy)
worthy of presents
worthy of presents
i'll ruin it for everyone (everyone)
i'll ruin it for everyone (everyone)
i'll make sure it'll be no fun
cause it's my day, my day, my day, my day
i am the santa
(he is the santa)
i am the santa
(he is the santa)
i am the santa
(he is the santa)
i am the santa
(he is the santa)
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5. |
Xmas Summer
01:16
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the streets aren't lined with shitty snow
its 90 degrees, not 20 below
the AC is broke, o what a bummer
fuck you, fuck you, christmas summer
hit the beach, get a tan
build an igloo made of sand
it's july, where the fuck are my presents?
fuck you i'm Santa, you're all peasants
Santa needs a vacation
jingle bells 3 on the radio station
Santa needs some R+R
merry fucking christmas you fucking retards
christmas (christmas)
christmas summer
it's a christmas (christmas)
christmas summer
it's a christmas (christmas)
christmas summer
it's a christmas (christmas)
christmas
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6. |
Jingle Bells 3
01:02
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jingle bells 3
stole your christmas tree
jerked off on your porch
jizz all o'er your wreath
jingle bells 3
you were annoying me
punched you in the face
knocked out all your teeth
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
fuck you 3
jingle bells 3
straight to dvd
with robert downey jr
and george clooney
hanging christmas lights
getting into fights
egg nog tastes like shit
we're drinking beer all night
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
fuck you 3
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
jingle bells
(fuck you!)
fuck you 3
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7. |
I Want U 2 Die 4 Xmas
00:33
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most people wish for toys
but there's one thing i'd enjoy
i've been good this year, oh haven't i?
all i want for christmas is for you to fucking die
i want you to die for christmas
i want you to die this year
this december i'll be rid of you forever
this christmas you'll be dead
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8. |
U.R.X.
01:23
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always run your fuckin mouth
5 of your friends live at your house
keep on making constant posts
you nazi fuck, your life's a joke
xmas cheer's what you get from me,
you spread nothing but negativity.
hang out with losers, hang out with Dregs
break your legs like a couple eggs
you ruined christmas!
crazy bitch!
you ruined christmas!
crazy bitch!
just stay the hell away from me
before I gotta call the NPPD
that stands for north pole police
gonna make your dad cancel your lease
don't even unplug the xmas tree
rip it from the stand, throw it in the street
tinsel falling down like rain
fuck you with a candy cane
you ruined christmas!
stupid bitch!
you ruined christmas!
you fat bitch!
fuck you bitch
you ruined christmas
you ruined christmas...bitch!
fuck you bitch
you ruined christmas
you ruined christmas
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9. |
S.S.F.D.
01:42
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this has nothing to do with presents
there's nothing worse than your kids
get on your knees and make a wish
now suck santa's fat dick
gotta go to every house
and be sneakier than a mouse
it's an ancient elfish trick
now suck santa's fat dick
i've been working for free for way too long
your cookies taste like shit
your parenting went all wrong
now suck santa's fat dong
wont be any need for mistletoe
you suburban housewife ho
now say a prayer to old saint nick
and suck santa's fat dick
santa doesn't even care if you're black or white
only gets to have fun for just one night
so if you ever want presents again
better do what santa says
i'm a lot like ed hickey
except i won't give you free drinks
it's similar but instead
santa's creeping over your bed
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick, dick, dick, dick
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick, dick, dick, dick
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick
suck santa's fat dick
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10. |
Navidad En Espanol
01:34
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it's christmas-time in mexico
christmas-time in spain
i celebrate in espanol
english is too plain
navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol, navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol
it's christmas-time in belarus
christmas-time in ukraine
i celebrate in espanol
english is so plain
navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol, navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol
solamente!
navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol, navidad en espanol
navidad en espanol
navidad, navidad, navidad
navidad, navidad, navidad
navidad, navidad, navidad, navidad
navidad, navidad, navidad, navidad
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11. |
Candy Canes
01:09
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candy canes, candy canes, candy canes
yum yum yum, yum yum yum, yum yum yum
candy canes, candy canes, candy canes
yum yum yum, yum yum yum, yum yum yum
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
lollipops, lollipops, lollipops
yum yum yum, yum yum yum, yum yum yum
lollipops, lollipops, lollipops
yum yum yum, yum yum yum, yum yum yum
lollipops
lollipops
lollipops
lollipops
lollipops
lollipops
popsicles, popsicles, popsicles
yum yum yum, yum yum yum, yum yum yum
yeah - popsicles, popsicles, popsicles
yum yum yum, yum yum yum, yum yum yum
popsicles
popsicles
popsicles
popsicles
popsicles
popsicles
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
candy canes
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12. |
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well its chrismas eve but you're down on your luck
come along with us we're the ones you can trust
if you get fucked up and you don't give a fuck
just get fucked up with us
i was all fucked and feeling in the spirit
looking for a bathroom but no where near it
santa got drunk and he puked in a bucket
trapped in the sleigh with nowhere to chuck it
now we're flying through the air about a buck o five
santa got drunk going over state lines
dump that bucket in the middle of the air
where it lands no one cares
its chrismas eve but you're down on your luck
come along with us we're the ones you can trust
if you get fucked up and you don't give a fuck
just get fucked up with us
i was all fucked up on wine and spirits
lookin for a bathroom, but mostly a mirror
santa's bag of tricks pure and uncut
fly through the air, we dont give a fuck
its 5 am and we fucked up
dick on santa's face when he woke up
haven't yet stopped at a single place
santa still has a dick on his face
its chrismas eve but you're down on your luck
come along with us we're the ones you can trust
if you get fucked up and you don't give a fuck
just get fucked up with us
it's christmas and you're feeling fine
got you fucked up on coke and wine
stealin beer and doin lines
have a very fucked up christmas time
come along with the christmas trees
gonna fly from new york to belize
drop you in the ocean if we please
have a very fucked up christmas
have a very fucked up christmas
have a very fucked up christmas
have a very fucked up christmas
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13. |
Stupid Fucking Face
01:25
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awwwwww, yeah
everything was good
everything was going great
everything was fine
everything was cool
and then i saw your face (it looks like fucking shit)
it ruined my whole day
ahhh - i like this
awwwwww, yeah
everything was cool
everything was going great
everything was fine
everything was ok
and then i saw your stupid face face (it looks like fucking shit)
it ruined my whole day (it looks like fucking shit)
i saw your stupid face face
it ruined my whole day
fuck your stupid face
it ruined my whole day
fuck your stupid face
it ruined my whole day
fuck your stupid face
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14. |
Santa's Wishlist
01:34
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i am the santa
we are christmas
now you gotta listen
listen to our wishes
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
number 1
santa wants beer and guns
number 2
time share in honolulu
number 3
bad santa 3 on DVD
number 4
dont wanna make toys no more
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
number 5
wish jesus was still alive
number 6
the world could use a few less nicks
number 7
bread should be leavened
number 8
wanna lose some weight
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
number 9
christmas should be all the time
number 10
black beard, just for men
number 11
no more stairway to heaven
number 12
sell more elves on shelves
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
ho-ho, ho-ho-ho
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15. |
Viki Is A Snowman
00:59
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viki is a snowman
(viki is a snowman)
she's a fuckin flake
(she's a fuckin flake)
viki is a snowman
(she is a snowman)
be good for goodness sake
snowman, snowman
snowman, snowman
viki is a snowman
viki is a snowman
viki is a snowman
eyes made outta coal
(eyes made outta coal)
nose is a carrot
(nose is a carrot)
knitted her a scarf
(made her a scarf)
she don't wanna wear it
snowman, snowman
snowman, snowman
viki is a snowman
viki is a snowman
viki is a snowman
snowman, snowman
snowman, snowman
viki is a snowman
viki is a snowman
viki is a snowman
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16. |
Party Clock
01:07
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364 days til christmas
now the fun can begin
i don't give a shit about your new years resolution
all i wanna do is sin
i'm saint nick and i'm a fuckin glutton
i got sick, i'm drinkin robitussin
i thought i heard you say
i hate this holiday
say it to my face
and i'll put you in your grave
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
we don't fuck around with this christmas shit
giving toys to every girl and boy
we don't even care if you're an alcoholic
you're gonna get what you enjoy
oh what's this?
you're on the naughty list
turns out we don't have to give you shit
hear the clock tick
you people make me sick
i'm a fuckin prick
they shoulda called me saint dick
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
just a fuckin waste of time
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